the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
