i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
