I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
