belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
