just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
