Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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