playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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