With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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