During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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