Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
