doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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