the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
