Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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