I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
