for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Randomize
