Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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