It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
