I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
