if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
