the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
