So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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