I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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