is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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