he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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