i think i have two assholes
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
