im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
