I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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