I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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