the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
