Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
