There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
