he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
