She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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