It's Friday. Sex?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
