Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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