the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
