You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
