To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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