I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
