Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
