I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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