I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
