i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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