he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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