This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
