therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
