P.S. I can't hear my feet
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize