Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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