do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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