If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
