Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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