And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
