I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
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I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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