spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
