Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
