We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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