i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
