perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
