i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
