using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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