I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
