bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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