Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
