i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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