i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
