an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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