well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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