I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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