Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
