You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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