What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
