You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
