dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
