i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have tasted many bathrooms
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
