Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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